Ten reasons why I'm better than you

Matty gave his ten reasons why he is better than me (not me, specifically, of course). Well, here are my ten reasons why I am better than you (not you, Matty, I am talking in general):

10. I have broken into my car with nothing but a plastic strap (well, it wasn't really my car, I was borrowing it, and I mean that uneuphemistically)
9. I have slept curled up inside a pillowcase while sleepwalking
8. I have slept through a 5.5 earthquake
7. I have marched into the dressing room of the the national ice hockey champions to ask for a box for my friend to put her broken leg on
6. I have climbed up Half Dome without gloves (not out of bravery but out of stupidity and shortsightedness)
5. I have interviewed the town madwoman and come away with my life
4. I have gone shopping while Israeli security forces were frogmarching me to the airplane.
3. I have flipped 40 plus beermats
2. I have danced the cancan on stage in front of screaming undergrads dressed in nothing but a sock and balloons
1. I have sidestepped myself in a mirror