Serendipitous Epiphenomena

$€®€NDIPIT©U$ (adj): being lucky in making unexpected and fortunate discoveries; €PIPH€N©M€NA (pl n): secondary phenomena that are by-products of other phenomena

Saturday, June 18, 2005

Church signs (part 2)

THE GLORY OF CHRISTIANITY IS TO CONQUER BY FORGIVNESS
Well, where do I start on this one...? Apart from the fact that Christians obviously can't spell. Let's just dissect this sentence. As far as I read it, it means: The beauty of Christianity is that they take by force what is not theirs, and the way they do this is by excusing others' (ie non-Christians') mistakes. To paraphrase Colonel Kurtz: The arrogance, the arrogance!
Such tolerance, as well! You might not realize it, they say, but by virtue of the fact that you are not a Christian, you are making a mistake, or worse: causing an offense (to god, I presume). But don't worry, we forgiv you... Say what? I don't recall asking you for forgiveness. The price you have to pay for that forgivness (that you didn't ask for in the first place) is that we'll take whatever you possess that we want for ourselves. Including, but not limited to, your life, your land, your earthly possessions, and hey, why stop there, your immortal soul, even if you don't believe you have one (which crass display of heresy we will forgiv you in the bargain).
Well, hey, thanks, I feel so much better already. Anything else you want?
And as far as doling out forgiveness, I never thought that was Christianity's trump card anyway. Bill Hicks has a nice sketch about this: He came out of this club where he'd just done a gig, and these people came up to him. "Hey, buddy, we're Christians, and we don't like what you said." "Well, then forgive me."
Did they? Like hell they did.

1 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

If you never said sorry to your chick, if you never had to ask her for forgiv*ness - then you are either incredibly lucky and have a cool chick, or you are arrogant and have a dumb chick or maybe you are just a saint that does no wrong. PS - DON'T EVER LET ME HEAR TELL YOUR LITTLE GIRL TO SAY SORRY EVEN IF SHE SPILLS COFFEE ON YOUR MAC or TRY TO TEACH YOUR DOG or CAT IF YOU HAVE ONE NOT TO POO ON YOUR FAVOURITE CARPET, RUG or PRAYER MAT.

10:52 pm  

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