This is why I hate advertising

No, it's corny lines that kill albatrosses.
Honestly, I was so enraged that I went and burned all my Aristoc tights. Birds were falling out of the sky because of the acrid smoke and searing winter winds are blowing up my thighs, but dammit I don't care.
In fact, I have long made it a principle to expressly NOT buy anything that is advertised in a way that is derogatory, challenges my intelligence, or talks down to me in some other way.

PS: thanks to Jon Quinn for bringing this to my attention... Your reward is coming up in the next post.